What do YOU Do when Everybody Cancels?

What do YOU Do when Everybody Cancels?

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What Do YOU Do When Everybody Cancels?

If you are like me then you are one to make plans. Sometimes this is well in advance. I mean let’s be real we are busy people. If you are here reading this your likely running a home, a family, running a business (or two, three, or more), are showing up in your community and well “all the things”.

This all calls for your time. Your precious precious time. Plus you gotta get in your friend time. That time to let your hair down, unplug, and connect with your like minded femprenuers for some much needed down time. That time to catch a breath and be supported with your tribe.

This can be challenging. Specially these days. Every one is busy and go go going.

Yet you mastered your schedule, everything is well balanced and the day has come. It’s a miracle! You scheduled time with your friend(s) and it’s been on the books. You have been looking forward to it. Real life people time, grown up time! Then there it is the text/Message/Call that says “Sorry but…”

You black out after sorry because the rest doesn’t matter. You already know that this means the cancellation has happened and it doesn’t matter why at this point, your girl time is not happening. Your crushed.

This may seem dramatic. Like overreacting. How old are we again? But it’s not. It’s normal. It took a lot to set up the plans, it took a lot to get the family, the dinner, the timing all to run accordingly. Plus come on you were super looking forward to hearing about your friends life how things are going and not sing “baby shark” or “Pop See Ko” for at least two hours.

Now this wouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just one night. Your a grown up right. But you look at this week and last week, you realize that the cancellations are stacking up and you start to think to yourself “WTF? Is it me?”

Umm… Reality check. No. It’s not you.

People are busy. People have lives. People over book. People are human.

Wake up call. Also, Yes there are a lot of people out there doing a lot of things. They are your friends and family and the masses. Let me let you in on a secret though…

They are not all like you. Or me. They aren’t well organized, they fly by the seat of their pants, and they mean well but sometimes they drop the ball. Life happens. They are human.

What does this mean for you though?

I know. I know. Your pissed. No your not, not really. Your hurt. Your feelings are hurt because you worked hard to make time to be able to show up for this person. Your frustrated and annoyed. No your not. Not really. Your hurt. You feel like they aren’t respecting you, your time or your friendship the way you do. You feel let down.

So what do you do?

Do It Anyway

Here is what I do. Yes. I know shock yes this even happens to me. I go out anyway. I go out and do something for self-care any way. This might look like shopping, reading a book at a coffee shop, a mani or pedi. It also might look like me just sitting in my car in a parking lot in silence. It all depends on my mood. But I’m out. Because lets be honest we were putting so much pressure on this “night out” because we really just wanted to get out. That’s okay.

That also means we need to evaluate have we been slacking on our self-care? Is something going on that’s causing you more stress than you realize? have you over Yes’ed your self and are burning the candle at both ends? Your going to need to figure that out. Because people will cancel. Things will happen, but we don’t need to fall to pieces because of it.

But They Canceled

Now to get to the bigger issue. The real elephant in the room. We are grown ups right? We are busy grown ups right? I am going to ask you to do something hard. But do it. I promise it will be completely worth it. Think of it like ripping the band aid off. No one wants to do it, but once it’s done you have a sigh of relief and everything is better for it.

I want you to grab a piece of paper and a pen. Sit down and ask yourself these questions. Answer them with complete honesty as you will be the only one who sees them.

1.) What do I want in a friend?

Seriously. What is the most important thing for you. For me I don’t need a million texts a day, every day, all the time. But if I text I expect a response within max 12-24 hours. My friends are busy and they are doing world changing things. I don’t expect them to drop everything (unless it’s an emergency) that second and respond if I’m just saying “hi.” However when I’m with my friends, and again we are busy people with long lists of goals and dreams, I expect them to BE with me. It’s fine to shoot a text here and there if a spouse or kiddo needs something but neither of us are hanging out talking/texting or messaging with everyone while we are spending time together. That’s not comfort that’s rude. That’s not relaxing and connecting that’s filling space. I don’t have time for that.

2.) What do I want to offer to a friend?

Be really clear with this. This is your boundaries. WHAT are you open to give and offer your friends. FYI this will directly affect how your friends treat you. So often we want to give everything to everyone. That’s not real and it’s not possible. It also sadly tells some people that they should take advantage of our kindness. So when you think about this also think about where you will draw the line.

3.) What will I allow in my life?

To be blunt. Stop letting things that bother you in your life. I mean it will happen and sometimes you can’t control it? Yes of course. But when you can, why keep doing it? If you hang out with someone and never have a good time STOP hanging out with that person. Or if you feel obligated ask why? If they are family, or you have known them since you were two, or whatever convoluted story there is ask yourself is this healthy for me? Can I spend less time with this person? Am I helping or hurting? Is this helping or hurting me? I have to see people who try my patience and push me to grow. We all do. That’s life. But if I spend time with some one I make sure that it is filling my cup in some way,and theirs also. We all have down days and we all have rough times but if that’s their norm and they are sinking your ship visit after visit and are not taking ANY steps to change it then you need to remedy that. That may mean creating distance, setting new boundaries, or just letting go.

With these three questions you can really start to evaluate your friends and the time your spending with people. You can see if you are creating fulfilling relationships with lasting connection, or just filling time to be busy and to be needed, or worse to have something to complain about. If that is the case you will want to take a deeper look at that, and why your doing that.

So the next time someone cancels don’t let it take the wind out of your sails. Use it to reevaluate the bigger picture.

I'm Rebecca Packard, a passionate practitioner for living from love. As a Wife, Boy Mom, Daughter, Friend & Entrepreneur!

I invite you to join me on this journey to create balance being the CEO of my best life. As I share the tools, tips, & tricks I use everyday for making sure everyone is happy, healthy, living free & living their best life!

I'm open to any & all of your ideas, too, so be sure to share them by commenting on the blog posts, I do read them! AND will respond!

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“The purpose of my life is to connect people with their higher power, their truest self. Supporting them in healing wounds, expressing acceptance. While inspiring them to feel the bliss life can be."

- Rebecca Packard

Rebecca strives to support others on their path to a whole life. Through her blogs, group, and events she shares the modalities and practices that she uses in her life, with her family and clients to create full life balance. Sharing all the ways she is supporting herself and others in living their best life. She is passionate about and truly believes that everyone can and should live a life they are passionate about built from balance and purpose.